The fact that at this very moment there is a crash-test dummy hurling toward Mars is pretty awesome and, frankly, puts the world in perspective.
And that brings us to the Super Bowl. It was certainly an exciting game. Nick Foles’ touchdown reception on 4th down was almost as epic as SpaceX.
Plus, Tom Brady with the ball, down by 5 with two minutes and change on the clock, is as good as it gets in sports.
I’m sure most of America was cringing at the prospect of another Brady miracle until fellow Michigan-Man Brandon Graham’s strip-sack ostensibly ended the game.
Keeping things in perspective, it would be a mistake to say the Super Bowl was a good game.
In fact, it was awful.
With more than 1,100 combined yards and 78 total points, the Super Bowl looked more like Madden on arcade mode than a battle between the two best teams in the league.
Graham’s strip-sack was the first, and only, sack in a game where 95 passes were thrown. In fact, the total number of missed points after touchdown attempts (4) equaled the total number of sacks, punts (1) and turnovers (2) combined.
As bad as the game was, the worst parts of this year’s Super Bowl experience happened after the final whistle blew.
The first was when Tom Brady continued his tradition of not shaking the opposing quarterback’s hand after a loss. I understand things get crazy after the game, and losing always sucks, but the first thing kids learn from pee-wee leagues on up is that you need to be a good sport and congratulate the other team on the field — win or lose.
This is especially true when you consider how far Foles had to come to get to that point in his career. I’m glad Nick didn’t let it soil his moment, but Brady owed him — and the sport — more.
The fact that Brady failed, again, is not cool and makes me wonder what would have happened if Russell Wilson or Cam Newton pulled the same stunt after they lost their Super Bowls.
Yes, I brought race into it, but what other explanation is there for the relative pass in Tom’s post-game antics?
The same goes for the number of Eagles fans who decided to celebrate their team’s first Super Bowl by terrorizing the “City of Brotherly Love.”
Make any excuse you want for the behavior: They were excited. It was their first championship. It was only a handful of people. That’s what they do in Philadelphia. Etc. Etc.
Bottom line is, if those pictures would have been black people protesting actual injustice, as opposed to white dudes “celebrating a win,” the outcry and insults would have been popping off like the Champaign corks in the Eagles’ victorious locker room.
To end on some positive notes, the Joneses’ Holy Halal Super Bowl party was lit as ever.
It’s been a long time coming!
If you have comments on this or anything to do with sports, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org or hit me up on Twitter @CTJibber.