Most good moms teach their kids two wrongs never make a right. But sometimes, even good moms are wrong. So excuse my crassness when I say JuJu Smith-Schuster deserves to be punched in his manzone!
Now as someone who has taken a few shots to the zone – most recently Thanksgiving when my nephew was throwing around my 7-year-old, and YJ3’s knee caught me in the bad place like it was laser guided – I don’t request junk punches lightly!
I just can’t think of a more fitting punishment for what Juju did on Monday Night Football to Cincinnati Bengal linebacker Vontaze Burfict.
To be clear, it’s not JuJu’s hit that’s got me calling for him to be hit. It was a basic crack-back block that wouldn’t have even drawn a flag five years ago.
JuJu deserves the shot because of how he hulked over Burfict after the hit. Taunting is bad enough, but doing it after knocking a man out on his feet is a special kind of classlessness that demands more justice than a 15-yard penalty and one-game suspension.
I wish Burfict could have mustered up enough sense and energy to Luke Cage JuJu’s babymaker. Instead, Burfict could only grasp at JuJu’s ankles before succumbing to the blast.
Yes, football is a game where physical domination is necessary. And as a fan, few things are more satisfying than watching your team methodically remove their opponent’s will by pulverizing them into submission one hit at a time.
For example, watch how the Cowboys’ offensive line decimated Washington last week. You could literally see the Skins’ defense tapping out right on national TV, and their season followed their will right down the toilet.
It’s the type of domination that’s celebrated by first downs, victories and the opponents leaving the field completely whipped.
JuJu’s “domination” was more like that of a bully or an abusive spouse. There is no place in life for that kind of nonsense, which oftentimes can only be dealt with by the victim showing equally abhorrent behavior – i.e. a justified punch to the manzone.
That’s because the perpetrator is too vicious or dumb to know what they did was wrong until they feel how wrong it was.
There is also no place in sports for hits like Rob Gronkowski’s cheap shot against a defenseless Buffalo Bills DB on Sunday.
In fact, the only thing worse than the hit was how the Patriots’ announcer “shockingly” approved it.
“Gronk” gets away with a lot of stuff because he’s perceived as a goof. After he appealed the ridiculously light one-game suspension, it’s clear he is a jerk. Football is a collision sport and dangerous enough on its own.
Football becomes potentially deadly when athletes start delivering cheap shots like Gronk did. The game becomes despicable when players celebrate their blows by hulking over their concussed victims.
I’ll end this week with a glimpse into basketball’s future:
I’m not saying Texas center Mohamed Bamba is the future of basketball, but the idea of 7-foot dudes with 7-foot-9-inch wingspans being able to dribble like a guard, and then fly through the air like Daredevil, is what basketball will look like in 10 years.
Seriously, the guy took two dribbles, maybe three steps and then soared from the center of the paint. How do you stop that?
Refs could start by calling traveling, but beyond that the only answer is …? You guessed it. Going Luke Cage on the babymaker.
If you have comments on this or anything to do with sports, contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org, or hit me up on Twitter @CTJibber.