Now that we’re knee-deep into the holiday season, it’s time to give Jabber Nation the one thing it wants more than anything — the answers to everything they’ve been asking me lately.
For example, just yesterday I saw our good friend and former garrison Equal Opportunity NCO, Sgt. 1st Class Derrick Chambers, and he asked me: “Are our Cowboys going to make it?”
Chambers was referring to the Dallas Cowboys making the playoffs. Obviously at 7-6, America’s Team has been disappointing, but even with that, they still have a better than puncher’s chance at fulfilling my Super Bowl prediction — especially, with Zeke coming back next week and Sean Lee finally healthy.
Of course, they need to make the playoffs first, which is a bit tricky in the competitive NFC, but they do have a path and here it is:
Dallas needs to win out – @Oakland vs. Seattle and @Philadelphia.
Then, the L.A. Rams need to clinch the NFC West.
Next, the Green Bay Packers and Detroit Lions, both 7-6, need to lose or tie one of their last three games. They play each other on the final game of the season.
Ideally, Carolina beats Green Bay this week, and the Lions get tripped up by Green Bay in Week 17.
Finally, just one of these three NFC South teams — Carolina (9-4), New Orleans (9-4) or Atlanta (8-5) — needs to lose two of their last three games. Atlanta is the most likely option since they have to play @Tampa, @New Orleans and then against Carolina.
I’m sure our Plans and Operations Chief Tony Davis — one of the nicest men I’ve met (certainly the nicest Eagles fan) — is wondering if Philadelphia has a chance at winning its first Super Bowl after MVP candidate QB Carson Wentz was knocked out for the season with a torn ACL.
Fortunately, no! Philly has no chance of winning anything without Wentz, and the disappointment couldn’t have happened to a more deserving fan base.
Remember, they are the fans who pelted Santa with snowballs and openly cheered as Michael Irvin laid motionless on the field with a career-ending neck injury.
ESPN asked which NBA player would be better to start a franchise with, New York’s 7-foot-3-inch Kristap Porzingis or Philadelphia’s 6-foot-10-inch point guard Ben Simmons?
It’s obviously Porzingis. The dude is called the “Unicorn” for a reason: His skill set is as rare as the Unicorn.
He also hasn’t already missed a season due to injury like Simmons did last year.
My brother from another mother, K-Fect, aka our safety officer Kirk Fechter, asked me during Tuesday’s visioning session if I’m surviving my week as a single dad while Mrs. Jones is living it up in Hawaii?
Barely. Being a parent is tough. Doing it solo is impossible like making it through “Star Wars: Battlefront II” without a second player. Speaking of “Star Wars,” of course the Joneses will be going to “The Last Jedi” this weekend.
Let’s close with some rapid fire:
- Is a zero wind chill too cold? Unless you’re Frosty the Snowman, of course it is.
- Frosty, Rudolph or the Grinch? None of them. It’s Charlie Brown, fools, followed by Yogi Bear and then Rudolph.
- Since we are on entertainment, is “Die Hard” a Christmas movie or just a movie, set during Christmas? It is most definitely a Christmas movie.
- Are there better Christmas movies than “Die Hard”? No!
- Is “Christmas in Hollis” by Run D-M-C the best Christmas song ever?
Surprisingly, no. I gotta go with Bob Seger’s version of “Little Drummer Boy”, followed by the “12 Pains of Christmas”, then Mariah’s “All I Want for Christmas,” then Hollis, followed by “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch.”
- Is 21 Savage greedy for having a 12-car garage when he only has six cars? No, that’s just how 21 does it.
- Will I be back next week? Dang skippy.
If you have questions about this or anything to do with sports, you can contact me at email@example.com or hit me up on Twitter @CTJibber.