Jibber Jabber – Better than OK party

Opinion

Chad T. Jones, Public Affairs Officer

“You OK?”

A lot of people have asked me that since Saturday’s government hiatus.

My neighbor asked the question, and then she gave me a box of chocolate. It was good.

My father-in-law asked, and then offered his daughter some money. Cha-ching!

TBH, the hardest part about this shutdown wasn’t the prospect of unemployment.

It was that it didn’t last long enough to merit the hours of work and stress the team put into preparing for it — half of Thursday, all day Friday, six hours online Sunday telling people what would be opened and closed.

We finished shutting things down Monday morning. About five minutes later, the Senate voted to open things back up.

In the words of my 14-year-old daughter, the bureaucracy was so extra.

That being said, I still have a job I like, with talented people I respect, so consider me blessed but not necessarily “OK.”

That’s because the Grinch himself couldn’t have made a worse Super Bowl. The Philadelphia Eagles vs. the New England Patriots is the equivalent of a rotten tomato sandwich covered in arsenic sauce.

And on Feb. 4, the entire football-watching world is going to nuzzle up to their TVs and take a big bite of that sandwich — stale spinach, spoiled mayonnaise and all.

Unless, of course, you’re eating at the annual Holy Halal Jones Super Bowl Party. Guests there will be chowing down on New England clam chowder, Philly cheesesteaks and whatever they, and the tens of other guests, decide to bring.

I’m hoping they come through with some wings, mac ‘n’ cheese, maybe some biryani and obviously some samosas. However, one thing I’ve learned in all my years hosting a Super Sunday party, is that when it comes to potlucks, you really shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

But just in case any of my guests are reading, here are some tips for each:

  • Wings: Baking is easier, but less tasty than frying, and you need at least three or four sauces.
  • Mac ‘n’ cheese: Boil noodles just past al dente and add a block of cheese (preferably Velveeta or government).
  • Biryani: Beef, chicken, veggie or mutton — just give it time to cook.
  • Samosas: I’ve never had a bad one, so here are some options.

Now that I’ve shared my cooking secrets with you, I’d appreciate Jabber Nation sharing the love and some recipes.

I’ve never made chowder or cheesesteak, so any help would be appreciated, and I’ll find a way to get your dishes published for the rest of the nation next week.

Since food is only half the party, here are some time-tested tips to guide your Super Sunday prep:

1. Make the game the center of attention. Fellowship and catching up are nice, but you can do that any given Sunday.

Super Sunday is about football, so don’t hide your TV in the corner like a misbehaving child. Make that gift of technology the center of attention. You should also have more than one television on.

This year, thanks to some remodeling, we’ll have three: One in the main room and one in the new man cave. The bedroom will serve as the escape room, which is where true fans gather when things get loud.

2. Just like any holiday, Super Sunday should be a family event.

Kids excel at making themselves the center of attention (especially when the game matters most). Without prior planning, those little bundles of snot, joy and annoyance can make following rule No. 1 impossible.

So give them their own area to do what kids do. Make sure it has the things today’s youth need – video games, a charging station and a few toys for those who still know how to play.

If children do wander upstairs or make a fuss, wait for a commercial and serve sweets. Or, create some competition between them, so they forget about annoying you.

Anyway, we’ll have more tips next week as well as a preview of the game. Until then, try not to get too depressed by having to listen to the two worst fan bases in the world bragging about how great their teams are.

This too will pass!

If you have comments on this or anything to do with sports, contact me at chad.t.jones.civ@mail.mil or hit me up on Twitter @CTJibber.

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